But first a little story my mum told me when i was small.
Draw a line.
Now make it short. Without using an eraser.
Answer:
Draw another line that's longer.
Clearly, the moral there was that you become a bigger person by doing better, being better...not by making someone else feel small.
I am somewhere in between. Usually I try being better but I can't resist chances of making someone feel smaller when they do come by.
Par aksar, unfortunately aisa hota hai ki the smart rejoinders i have are late.
Sort of like the repartee happens when person is departee.
I shall now compile them in this blog.
1. A senior servicing idiot said to me, when I praised some decent work done by a colleague; 'Who the hell cares about your opinion, you small fry?'
Perfect Rejoinder: I'm sorry. I didn't know you had to be bald & ugly to have an opinion that matters.
Actual Rejoinder: Umm..err..
2.An angry relative fighting with me over the phone and threatening me by saying stuff like
'I don't care a fuck about you. Fuck off and the like'
Perfect Rejoinder: Why don't you take all your anger, convert it into a heart-attack and die? Your family's insured anyway.
Actual Rejoinder: *click
3. This fruit in servicing who's dumb, stupid, annoying, very punjabi and chikna is carrying a phone that's hot pink & ugly. I ask him 'why the fuck you have this phone?' So, he says, 'What's your problem Ira? I'm a metrosexual man'
Pefect Rejoinder: See, you can either be a metrosexual man or a heterosexual one.
Actual Rejoinder: Ok.
4. Irritating servicing chick who's plain braindead is fighting with me about some stupid brief.
And giving me gyaan.
Perfect Rejoinder: I would donate you half of my brain, but you seem to be in the habit of not using brains for some reason.
Actual Rejoinder: SAME AS ABOVE
5. Annoying idiot contesting some stupid discussion, gets animated and more annoying and says to me, exasperated, pointing to his forehead, 'kya likha hai yahaan pe?'
Perfect Rejoinder: C-H-U-T-I...
Actual Rejoinder: SAME AS ABOVE
So, anyway, I can't think of any more but there've been plenty. Some where my brain's been my best friend & most where it's woken up after 2 years (reference point no.1)
Oh and ya, I've used, 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn' a lot.
